Dear Accounts Payable Customer,
Hey, how are you? I’m reaching out to you on behalf of the freelancers, small businesses, service providers, coaches and consultants you work with in order to get critical projects and needs for your business done – on time. We have come together to provide a uniform message, one we hoped we’d never, ever, ever need to send to you.
With all due respect: Eff you, Pay Me.
As small business owners and freelancers ourselves, we work very hard to bring you the best products and services we have to offer. We spend money on our professional education so we can stay up to date on the latest happenings in the industry. We develop strong services that are largely tailored to the needs of your business.
We work with you to make sure you’re more than happy by the time the finished product is used for your business and given to your clients. We stay up late at night, and sometimes a few days at a time, tirelessly working to make sure we’re putting in work to give you exactly what you agreed to pay for.
Yet, despite all of this great work we do, and all the results we provide which you’re pleased with, you somehow manage to forget one thing: if it’s not paid prior to the beginning of the final leg, your service payment is due upon completion of the project. Not the day after. Not the week after. Not after you pay for your new iPhone or after you go to SXSW.
Don’t tell us that you’re only doing the best you can, or that you’re working on it.
People always have the time and money to do exactly whatever it is they make time and priority to do.
Nice shoes, by the way. They go really well with that prestigious new business suit you purchased to enhance your image. Oh, you think we don’t these things?
We are not bounty hunters but we have lawyers, contracts and the hunger to keep our credit in good standing with other people that keeps us willing to act like ones if we need to.
It’s not that we want to be disruptive, rude or negative jerks who want to ruin your day. We don’t. We have mouths to feed – mainly ours and our family’s. When we get paid, everyone’s happy. When we don’t, yeah, we have no problem pissing you off with our nice and pleasant reminders, “just so happened to notice I didn’t see your invoice payment initiate so I decided to call you” phone calls, replying to every Tweet you send, and hitting every Facebook status you have periodically… with ever increasing frequency.
Eff you, pay me.
You pay your bills on time, right? You would be pissed if your employer forgot to cut your paychecks on time, right? You’d cry bloody murder over the injustice of having to deal with a barrage of calls from creditors and collections departments all day because someone didn’t pay you for services rendered on time, right?
Okay then, that’s what I thought.
F*ck you. Pay me.
And not in gum.
Take a stand against getting stiffed by clients with the Freelancers Union’s World’s Largest Invoice